


Obligatory Celebration

by Gatoraiden



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Self Harm, gore or at least gruesome self harm, goro my boy im sorry but youre going to be who i live through, it's goros birthday and im emotionally unstable right now, ventfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 04:11:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gatoraiden/pseuds/Gatoraiden
Summary: It's Goro Akechi's birthday.





	Obligatory Celebration

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a really bad mood and place right now and I need to vent out some self harm thoughts and really angry emotions. This is both a vent fic and a shout out to Goro Akechi. The fandom may be split on you but I love you. Happy birthday, Akechi.

It's June second.

Goro Akechi sits in his apartment alone. He's been awake for a few hours but even just leaving the bed took real concentrated effort. He normally wasn't this lazy or dragging, but today wasn't a normal day either.

His hand went to the alarm clock next to him. It wasn't even making any noises but he felt the need to check it anyway. June second. 1 pm.

There's nothing Goro would love to do then walk outside and immediately lay down in traffic and let it be the end, but he can't. And so he gets dressed, something he should be use to but every time he sees himself in the mirror he's repulsed. Not from his looks, he knows he's physically attractive and, if he's being honest, he relishes it in secret at times. It's not from his looks, its from his existence. It's a feeling he can't help but get sometimes. There's a point where he doesn't feel grounded, he doesn't feel in charge of his body. Sometimes it happens when he's exhausted, but it always happens on this day. He'll watch himself crawl out of bed and drag around school, around town, and he'll replay auto messages when anyone asks him and he'll accept all the "happy birthdays" with a forced on smile.

He was tired of it.

The day going by slowly wasn't rare for him. Today it felt like a dream, a very long dream. Goro just glided through the day, barely registering anything the entire day. The girls and boys all gave him tidings of the day, gave him gifts, sought his attention, gave him attention.

Once he was out of sight he threw them in the trash along with the memories of today. He'd forgo work just this one day in order to sleep and hope the end of the day comes by faster. He only has one thing left to do.

That one thing he debates skipping out on once he opens the door to LeBlanc and sees a fluffy haired figure he was praying to not run into today. Goro goes to turn around and leave but he's already caught.

"Welcome to-Akechi?" Akira pushes his glasses up on his face and then gives him a pretty obvious look of examination. "You're here today? Shouldn't you be off doing... detecting?" Goro seriously wanted to grab a chair and hit him over the head with it. Instead he forces on a very sickly sweet smile.

"Oh, on a day like this? I couldn't. I have work, but I'm taking it home with me." He sits down and looks over the counter. "Is Sojiro here?" Akira leans forward a bit, resting on his elbows.

"Nope. You're stuck with me, so might as well order." He sees the look Akechi gives him and stands up straight. "I'm a competent cook and coffee maker, I promise. If I wasn't this place would be shut down." He presses his hand on his chest and looks disproportionately proud of the fact he hasn't caused an establishment to close. Goro just sighs and gives in.

While Akira's making his order, Akechi is zoned out to an insane degree. Reality and life blurs and he almost swears he just stopped breathing. There's a point in his thoughts where he heavily debates on asking if he can get lethal amounts of rat poison put into his food just to make it end already. The only thing to snap him out of it is an annoying hand being waved in his face. "Oi, I said it's ready." Goro looks down and his senses manage to return to his body. It looks almost like the regular looking, the one good thing to happen today. Goro mumbles a thank you and then quickly regrets it when he hears the next statement.

"It's on the house. Happy birthday, Goro."

It takes every fiber of his being to not lean forward and dig his thumbs into his eyesockets.

 

His sleep isn't restful. It's lucid and filled with bitterness. Only in the sanctity of his sleep can he allow himself to cave.

Further, further. He peels the skin on his arm back further. His fingers enter the wound and he can feel tendons, muscles, he can feel the warmth inside of him. But it wasn't his arm. An artery, a vein, he tugs and pulls until he feels them break in his grasp. Blood trails down his arm and onto his leg, what's left of it. Severed, broken, gaping holes that couldn't be made normally. But it was a dream. He can barely focus from the pain and his eyesight is fogged up but his pure hatred keeps him going.

His nails are next. Each one hurts to rip off and its hard but he manages. Uprooting them is painful and at some points he snaps them in half. If he has to use his teeth to pull he does until they're all free. Once they're all gone he opens and closes his hands. The pain isn't as bad but under it feels raw. The wind hurts every opening and wound on his body but he doesn't feel like he's done. He's never done.

Goro looks up to see his bedroom mirror and sees himself. He's ruined, his bones visible through his arms and legs and the bruises from breaking his hips and for once he almost feels like he's in his own body. It almost feels like he's perfect as he is.

It's no longer Goro, it's Akira Kurusu. Akira Kurusu who smiles back. And he can't take it anymore.

Goro Akechi drives his thumbs as far as he can into his eyesockets, feeling the pressure and pain and the blood dripping down his cheeks until-

 

He wakes up in bed. He's whole, he has no wounds, he's alive. Goro looks up at the clock and he feels like it's just one last shot to agonize him again. His stomach turns and he wants to scream and break his mirror and his clock and his body.

June second. 59 minutes past midnight. Goro Akechi's birthday.


End file.
